Good News and Bad News

I've said it 100 times - adoption is an emotional roller coaster. So many times I've thought that we are in over our heads, but then I remember why we're doing this in the first place.

First, the good news. FAC has had an increase in birth mothers looking for families to adopt their babies. Lately, matches are being made very quickly. Sounds like great news for this anxious mama, right?

But there's also bad news. If we were to get a call for a match today, I'm not totally sure that we would be able to accept - simply because we don't have the money we need. We have saved and had several fundraisers over the last year and still only have about 15% of the costs needed for domestic adoption. Now we just have to pray that when we do that call, we'll have enough loan opportunities to make it happen.

We are so very thankful for everyone that has prayed, encouraged, and donated. We would not be where we are without all of you. Thank you for helping to bless this nest! ❤

Nursery Progress

I've been promising photos of our nursery progress, so I decided to go ahead and post what we have done so far. We still have to add a few finishing touches, but I think it's coming along nicely.

This gorgeous crib once belonged to the little prince and is now fit for a princess.
So glad I hung onto his furniture all these years.

A close up of the crib sheet. The bear also used to belong to the little prince.
The fabric behind him will (eventually) be used to make a blanket. Fabric and bedding from babybedding.com

Changing table. We have already begun stocking up on diapers and formula.
Just need a baby 😉

I recently purchased baby girl's first Matilda Jane! #onesizefitsall

Hubby added new closet doors and trim, and crown molding (not pictured). Just need knobs

Love this vintage chest of drawers!
A couple coats of chalk paint prettied it right up!
PS It's already filled with baby clothes!

A close up of the chest. The little prince wore that sweet outfit for his church dedication and his first Easter..

This piece will also get chalk paint (I've already started on the drawers).

Trying to decide if I want to chalk paint this vintage rocking chair. Any thoughts?

Still need to add curtains, a rug, a side table for the rocking chair corner, and some wall decor.

What All of This Means

Adoption can be quite a complicated process. Many of you have asked how it all works with our current situation so I'm hoping to answer a few questions here.

Our (failed) match was "private." This means that we were "matched" with pregnant woman who was willing to work with us without the help (and cost) of an agency. Basically, if she wouldn't have changed her mind, we would have paid an attorney to do the paperwork and that would be it. Because she did change her mind before the baby was handed over, there was no attorney fee. Also, our home study is valid for one year so that fee carries over. So we haven't lost any money.

The chances of finding another private match are slim. We are still open to it though. So if you know anyone expecting a baby and she doesn't feel like she is able to parent, please keep us in mind. Despite popular belief, private adoption are not free. However they are much less expensive than going through an agency.

Going forward, we are back to our original plan - working with Faithful Adoption Consultants (FAC). They are not an actual agency, but they work with agencies all over the United States. Going through a service like theirs means better odds for a (quicker) match. The money we set aside for the attorney mentioned above is enough to cover their fee.

Here's where it gets expensive - once FAC matches us (and lately they have been matching very quickly!) we will then have to pay all the fees related to an agency. I do not mean to put down adoption agencies at all and I do understand what the fees cover, but these costs can be upwards of $40,000. Not exactly in our budget.

To be perfectly honest, the costs involved are giving hubby cold feet. FAC helps adopting families find grants and loans, but they have recommended fundraising to to cover as much as we can. And that is a lot to ask of our friends and families. So we are praying about it and hopefully something will work out soon.

MIA

I apologize for being MIA for over a month. Not much news to report, but here's a quick update:

• My dad is having health issues related to a series of strokes he had around the beginning of November. Thank you for praying for him.
• Christmas was a blur - mostly due to caring for my dad and also there was still quite a bit of grief from our failed match. 
• The little prince changed schools. He and hubby are at the same location and it's going great so far.
• We have the nursery 90% finished - just need a few decor items but it's done enough for now. I plan to take some pics to post this week.
• We are currently "inactive" in the adoption process, but we hope to change that in the next couple of weeks. Fortunately, we didn't lose any of the money that we've already paid, however, moving forward means even more money. More about that in a future post.
• We are beyond thankful and blessed at the outpouring of love we have received from our family and friends during this difficult time. We love you all. ❤

Lost

We knew it was coming, but I'm not sure it made things any easier. The baby we were matched with has been born - but we didn't get "the call." 

It's a failed match. Mother has decided to parent. I have no hard feelings toward her. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't heartbroken.

Yes, I know that God's timing is perfect. But I have a beautiful nursery that is just waiting for a baby that isn't coming. And a 10 year old that only wants a baby sister for Christmas. And so many other hopes and plans that just aren't going to happen right now. I know He is in control. I have been patient. But right now I am grieving.

Thank you all for everything you've done to help us get this far. I wish I had some answers as far as "what's next." Maybe soon.

❤ Jeanna

In the Eye of the Storm

In the eye of the storm

you remain in control

And in the middle of the war

you guard my soul

You alone are the anchor,

 when my sails are torn

Your love surrounds me 

in the eye of the storm

Ryan Stevenson's "In the Eye of the Storm"

Mid-November Update

I apologize that I haven't posted in a while. Life has been crazy lately. My dad is in the hospital, hubby has started a new adventure in coaching high school basketball, and we're still preparing and praying for baby Jacks.

Those of you that I have spoken with personally already know that we're feeling like our match may be failing. Birth mother seems to want to keep the baby and I can't blame her one bit. It must be an agonizing decision to make and whatever she chooses, we will support her. Although, I have to admit it will be very disappointing if things don't work out this time - I know that God has a plan for us.

In related news, November is National Adoption Month and when FAC (the group we were going with originally) posted this on Facebook yesterday, I really needed to see it...