Our (failed) match was "private." This means that we were "matched" with pregnant woman who was willing to work with us without the help (and cost) of an agency. Basically, if she wouldn't have changed her mind, we would have paid an attorney to do the paperwork and that would be it. Because she did change her mind before the baby was handed over, there was no attorney fee. Also, our home study is valid for one year so that fee carries over. So we haven't lost any money.
The chances of finding another private match are slim. We are still open to it though. So if you know anyone expecting a baby and she doesn't feel like she is able to parent, please keep us in mind. Despite popular belief, private adoption are not free. However they are much less expensive than going through an agency.
Going forward, we are back to our original plan - working with Faithful Adoption Consultants (FAC). They are not an actual agency, but they work with agencies all over the United States. Going through a service like theirs means better odds for a (quicker) match. The money we set aside for the attorney mentioned above is enough to cover their fee.
Here's where it gets expensive - once FAC matches us (and lately they have been matching very quickly!) we will then have to pay all the fees related to an agency. I do not mean to put down adoption agencies at all and I do understand what the fees cover, but these costs can be upwards of $40,000. Not exactly in our budget.
To be perfectly honest, the costs involved are giving hubby cold feet. FAC helps adopting families find grants and loans, but they have recommended fundraising to to cover as much as we can. And that is a lot to ask of our friends and families. So we are praying about it and hopefully something will work out soon.
